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Guy on my Phone Wants a Reward

The other night I was looking for my cell phone in my house. I lose everyuthing all the time, but the good thing about losing your cell phone in your house is all you have to do is pick up your house phone and call your cell.

So as you might of guessed from the previous paragraph I picked up my house phone and called my cell.
After a couple of rings and not hearing my cell respond I knew I must of left it out in the car.
That was until some spanish guy picked up the other end.


Before I dove into this I had to find my roommate and make sure he wasn't puling a fast one. Sure enough, he wasn't. He was naked in the shower wonder what the hell am I doing in there.

I then began dialoge with the person on the other end who informed me that he found my phone outside in the parking lot at Stop & Shop.
He stated his legacy by claiming he "went looking for the owner" and "was going to give it to someone in Stop & Shop, but..."

Say no more, I knew what he was getting at.

"Are you in town? What's your address? Will you mind if I stop by and pick up my phone?"

Then he finally cuts through the bullshit. "Is there a reward?"

"A reward? Did you find my kidnapped daughter?"

"I just think, you know, that I went through the trouble of finding your phone and looking for you that you could give me something for my troubles."

"You also went through the trouble of bringing it home in hopes of collecting a fee instead of just bringing it to the manager of the store who would of held on to it. But sure, I'll give you a reward. How about a kiss on the cheek?"

I just didn't want to deal with this shit at that time. It's been a long day, it was 11 at night, I wanted to go to bed, and I had to deal with this rude asshole.

We volleyed back and forth on what would happen if I didn't pay him money for my phone. I reminded him he gave me his address, and that refusing to turn over someone elses property is stealing, at least according to my cop brother.

In the end I relented and told him I'd give him something "just don't think you're getting rich here, OK?"

I got over there and the guy came out hobling on a cane. On my way over there I said to John that if the guy didn't ask for a reward, i'd hook him up. I'd give his a $20. But when the guy tries to black mail me, fuck-him!

The plan was to give him three dollars. When I reached into my wallet, some combination between seeing him in a cane and thinking that I would have spent $150 replacing the phone, I somehow gave him a $20.

4.2 seconds after that transpired I regretted my desicion. He went like he was handing me the phone but held back until he could see what type of bill I was handing him. Fucking knob.

After he saw the $20 he glowed, and happily handed over the phone. He then tried to go into the story intended to bond with me on how he saw the phone lying on the ground, and how he thought it was a weird rock, and blah, blah, blah. I was already walking away from him at that point. Wishing to whoever that he loses something one day; his cane perhaps, I'm I'm the one to find it.
Wanna' read some a pretty wild story that if Bill Clinton were president you'd actually be hearing about it on the news?
Check this out.

You know, I always thought that gay male hookers were strong Kerry supporters. We now now that is false. A myth.


Hunter "Suicide" Thompson passed away the other day, as many of you know.

Rumor has it Dr Thompson shot himself after reading this diary.

I do want to note that that's just a rumor, and until it's confirmed, it should be treated as such. And even if proven factual, it shouldn't be assumed that it was due to jealousy as people are implying.


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