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Rollin' with Rolando Part Duex

Two things before I continue with the Rolando tale. In case anyone cares to know how young I was when I started smoking, or wanna' know my thoughts on the impact my writing has on my readers, I have been interviewed and confessed all my dirty little secrets. Still respect me?


The second thing I wish to announce is that I accepted an invitation to become the newest member of Diary Quotes.

That's right, kids. A members only club. I'm high class now. Get the hell off my lawn!! This is private property, you dirtbag! Get a job.

My only duty to maintain my status as a member is to update often, preferably with a few lines in there somewhere that adapts well to being quoted...

I'm not gonna' do that now, but let me just tell you about the time I almost worked in a music shop. I decided not to take the position at the last minute because I couldn't deal with all the violins in the workplace.



Back to Rolando.

So we were going class to class talking to the Bulkley High voters, and questions. Feeling their concerns.

Some of the questions people were asking were "If elected, what's Rolando gonna' do about the front door. There are two sets of doors there, and one of them has been broken for a long time. With hundreds of students piling in each morning, it takes forever to get inside. I know many people who have been marked tardy just because of the stupid door they refuse to fix. How will Rolando help that?"

I responded "Sarah, first let me just say that's an excellent question. But I expect nothing less from a beautiful girl such as yourself. To answer your question, Rolando is gonna' get that door fixed before you know what happened. Even if he has to get some Time-Life books and learns how to fix it himself, he will. How the current administration allows that door to remain broken is cruel and unacceptable. Rolando believes that's not right!"

Another person asked "Jon, the school has just started a rule saying that if you haven't turned in your homework twice, you get a Saturday suspention. Does Rolando support this action?"

I responded "Fantatstic question Sam. Still playing guitar? We should get together and jam sometime. Anyways, while Rolando is a firm supporter of education, and a living testament to it's results, he does feel the new guidelines are a bit strick and will only cause more of a seperation between the faucilty and the students. Rolando would like to work with both sides to come up with a fair alternative that everyone could live with."

It was absolutely amazing how easily people adapted to not directing the questions to the candidate, but his collegue. Not one person asked "How come Rolando isn't answering these questions?" The people totally accepted us as a package deal.

The week before the elections, was the debates. I was actually getting pretty nervous about this. We would be in the auditorium in front of the entire school. Lord help me. But what really got me shaking was facing the current president.

This guy was an asshole. He looked and acted like a politician, but with jock friends. He was a member of the football team, a straight A student, very popular, blonde hair, shit-eating grin, AND he's been dating the same girl since he was a freshman. I couldn't even pin him for being a playboy.

And I was putting a Special Ed kid up against him. I knew if I could make this happen I'd grow up to be Emperor of Earth.

Anyways, while I was shitting bricks over the whole thing, Rolando was living up his new fame.

Guys would slap him five when he was walking down the hall. Girls would talk to him. Anywhere he went someone would yell "Rolando is Profoundo!" The other kids in Special Ed class looked at him in awe.

Rolando actually said to me one time "I cannot wait for dee' debate."

Yeah, of course he couldn't. He wasn't gonna' debate, I was! He was just gonna stand next to me and giggle while I defended his political agenda to everyone.

So the day of the debate I actually got to debate twice. I was also running as his vice-president so it gave me a chance to warm up.

Besides Rolando and Seth, the current president. There were three other candidates. None of them I had to worry about. One was a stoner, one was a computer geek, and one was this nerdy chick. Everybody hated these people already. I needn't do a thing.

So they introduce everybody. Seth came out to thunderous applause as I've expected. Rolando came out to a pretty good one himself, but no where near Seth's. That's when I knew that it was an uphill battle. I had to kill in this debate or Rolando wouldn't stand a chance.

So I'm standing up there with the geek, the jock, the computer nerd, the stoner, and the Special Ed kid. If high school was the UN, these would be the embassadors. Or...

(Alternate Joke)

All we needed was a talking dog and a mystery machine, and we'd have our own cartoon show.

So while everyone else has their own podium, I'm up there standing next to Rolando. Everyone up there is serious as shit. Except for Seth of course who couldn't wipe that fucking grin off his face with battery acid.

(To Be continued...HAHAHA!!!)


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