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How'd the stag go?

My brother's stag went pretty fucking well.

Only two of my friends showed up. Three others, who'd promised to make it never did. Complete chickenshits.

Anyways, highlights...

My brother drunk.

I mean REALLY drunk.

My brother is the worst object to put alcohol into.

Basicly there are three type of drunks.

-The funny/if not annoying type, which I was back in my drinking days.

-The angry, looking to fight type.

-And the pathetic, sentimental "I love you guys" which is my brother.

We were raffling off a bunch of prizes, mostly booze. And the deal was, my brother had to do a shot with each winner.

So after around 7 shots of assorted hard liquor, Jason was stumbling around like a sailor.

I saw his friends trying to help him walk, so I went back to playing poker with the cops. (I kicked their fucking asses too! Those pricks were playing with my tax dollars.)

A couple of minutes later I see my brother leaning against the bar, head in hand, with two guys on either side of him, looking like they were having a pretty serious talk.

Someone called me over, I got up and went to check out the situation. My brother asks me "did you lose money here."

Now, I put my father incharge of ONE fucking thing in the stag, the food, and he fucked it up royaly. He got the most expensive caterers on the motherfucking planet. So between that, and my brother's friends who spent a zillion dollars on booze and prizes, we were at a lose, and the parties involved (me, my dad, and the other guys in the wedding party) were forced to take a hit. Word got around to Jason while he was cocked, and now I had to deal with this piece of shit.

"Did you take a lose" he asked.

"I'm fine, Jay. I didn't come here expecting all my money back."

"How much are you out" he says as his eyes begin to water.

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine. I'm raping your pals at cards anyways."

"Gimme a're my baby brother, c'mere and gimme a hug."

"You put your hands on me and I'll shoot you with your own gun."

I went back to playing cards. Every once in awhile he'd come stumbling over looking for a hug like a 5 year old girl with a boo-boo.

And some people just can't figure out why I don't drink. Jeesh.

Anyways, another funny moment was that there were two girls doing the catering that people kept asking me over and over again "are those the strippers?"

"Yes, those are the strippers. They serve salad and pasta, and then take off their clothes and fuck each other. Good call."

Actually....that would be pretty cool, wouldn't it?


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