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Suck my Ding Dong

Apple computers has this new promo out where if you buy a $20,000 VW Beetle, they'll throw in a $300 iPod.

Now who the fuck would be enticed to spend $20,000 on the stupidest car ever designed to get a $300 walkman?

Me, that's fucking who!

Have you seen these iPods? Dude, they fucking RULE!

You can fit up to 8,000 songs in the damn thing.

Which, for those of you without a calculator means, you can drive from here til Pluto without hearing the same song twice.

OK, that was a lie. You'd barely make it past Uranis (Hehehe, yes I still find that word funny) but you get the idea.

Only problem is I don't have $20,000 for one of those round cars that was originaly designed by Hitler for Yuppy Americans.

Heck, I don't even have $300 for the damn walkman thing.

That's why I'm now gonna' kidnap dog and cats and make fur coats out of them.

If anyone would like a fur coat made from 100% dog and cat, handcrafted by Genghis Jon himself, send me an email and I'll hook you up.

Coats are $5,000 each.

If I stole your dog/cat and you want him/her back. The price will be $7,000.

If I stole a family member of yours and mistook him/her for a dog/cat the price will be $9,000.

If you'd like for me to make a coat of your kidnapped family member that I mistook for a dog/cat, the price is $24.95.

Have a great weekend you cocksuckers!



Some chick asked me to link to her site so people can go there and donate money for some charity. She obviously asked me due to the well know fact that my diary is a magnet for generous millionaires.

I didn't read too carefuly what the hell she needed the dough for, I think it's for retarded monkeys in Alaska or something (Retarded Alaskan monkey coats- $12,000) but if anyone killed somebody in their life and wants to make up for it, go here and make your penance.


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