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Letter I wrote to TWA

Dear TWA.

I want to start off by saying that TWA has always given me great service. As far as I'm concerned, TWA is the best in the business. Hands down!

Sure, I've tried the other airliners, but none have been able to match up to your service.

TWA has always been consistant through and through with it's commitment to customer service and satisfaction. Something not many other companies nowadays can boast.

Unfortunately, the nature of my correspondence today is not to give praise to your most worthy airlines, but to address a concern.

I am a frequent TWA flyer, but haven't travelled since the tragedy of Sept 11th. My first flight since said date will be December 12th of this year. As I'm sure many of your passangers have concerns about there safety, my concern is a bit unusual. You see, my name is An Thax. Close enough to cause fear and axiety in anyone in ear shot, understandibly so. I was wondering if this would cause a problem?

What's more, it is the duty to my religion to wear a turbin with my name printed in big, bold letters on it.

Truth be told, I have never had a problem at an airport except for one time. I was flying on a diffent airliner, and the passanger next to me kept flicking my nipples. The pilot came out to break us up. He didn't believe my story, and he ALSO touched my sacred nipples. The pilot said his name was "Dick Harry" but when I went to complain, I was told that they had no pilot by that name.

Anyways, I'm a devout flyer of TWA and would very much like to remain such. Please let me know if in light of recent events, you would deem me as a danger to your company's responsibility to provide safety to the customer, and I will look for another airline that can accommodate me.

Thank you very much for your time, and for several years of fatastic service.

An Thax

Mr An Thax

Thank you so very much for your kind words about TWA. We always love to hear from our friends that have flown with us in the past. We work hard everyday to give you our best, and your praise is our reward. Thank you.

In regards to your concern about your name being printed on your turbin that may prevoke fear amongst our other passangers. I must say this may be cause for concern in the days since the Sept 11th tragedy. Please write me back ASAP and let me know the limitations of your religion in regards to displaying your name on your turbin.

I'm sure we can work something out.

Wishing you a happy Ramadan.

Paul Whitucker


Dear Paul.

Thank you so much for your quick reply. I have good news to report! It seems that I will not be a burden to you after all. You see, my request to have my name changed has been accepted by the courts. My new name is Osama iz Numba Wun. I will still be required to wear my name proudly on my turbin (as well as scream it aloud in regular intervals) but I can hardly see this as beeing a problem. It doesn't sound anything like anthrax at all! How cool....


Osama iz Numba Wun.

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