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My People are Dead

Wanna make yourself sick?

Do a news search for "Federline"

You'll be treated to such healines as...

Kevin Federline Disses Jessica Simpson And Nick Lachey for Getting Divorced

"My situation is different. I ain't gettin' no divorce. Fuck that! I don't believe in that shit."

Well that's a huge suprise.

You mean to tell me you're not gonna' divorce Britney, give back all your cars, clothes, recording career, bling....everything and go work at Dunkin Donuts? How noble of you.

Federline nearly got into 'gangster stuff'

"I moved back to Fresno and the gangster stuff started coming along. It was crazy for a while. Crazy like shooting at people, people getting robbed. A lot of my people got locked up... a lot of my people are dead."

My people?

Is there any hope for this fucking guy?  I mean....we just can't sit around any longer acting like he's just gonna' go away.

"I ain't goin' anywhere. Ask Britney."

Isn't there's some sort of National Wigger Medical Center we can send him to where he can get the treatment he needs?

I just don't know what to do with him anymore. You think 15 years after Vanilla Ice we'd find these types to be less annoying, or we'd have a little bit thicker skin about it, but there's still just something about a skinny white guy coming across like a member of NWA that makes you want to slit your wrist with a spork.

The worst part is the only reason we even know about this fucking guy is due to the fact that just one stupid blonde is retarded enough to believe the bullshit that comes out of his mouth -and now the rest of us have to put up with him.

It took just one really famous chick to be impressed by this guy's horseshit -that he's a bad gangsta' motherfucker (sorry, I spelled that wrong, it's muthafucka'!) and now it's wiggaworld all over again.

Sorry, I try to write about things that aren't that obvious. I'm sure nobody is reading this going "Wow, now that I think about it, Kevin Federline DOES suck. Who knew?"

As a matter of fact I like to do the opposite. In a way I really like the heat this guy gets. It takes a special skill to be that hated. Think of pro-wrestling, how they try hard at getting their "heels" to be booed by the audience. Not one of their writers could of ever dreamed up K-Fed. Not on their best day.

And it's that kind of heel that I'm usually drawn to. Reminds me of when I was in high school. The school I went to was nothing more than a fortress for leftist views. You were told directly by teachers, especially during election time that Republicans were assholes.

Which is how I joined the young Republicans. While my other friends were rebelling by surrounding themselves with the same wacky mohawk or whatever, I sported ripped jeans, long hair, and a Bush/Quayle 88'' t-shirt.

That, kids, is ballsy. Unavalable at Hot Topic coincidentaly.

Anyways, you haven't seen a teacher mad until you've shared your opinion that liberalism in adults is caused by a failure for the brain to mature into adulthood. I'd say shit like that all day long then go drop LSD. It was a well rounded lifestyle.

So, anyways. The point I'm trying to make here is that I usually try to love those that society loathes so much, but in K-Fed's case I can't even pretend to like him much the way I could Dan Quayle.

With that said it's imperative if you haven't already to visit my good buddy 
Disco who quite brilliantly summed up how we all feel about Mr Federline. Check out Wigga' Please!


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