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World Cup? How About World Bowel.

A devistating defeat for the U.S. team at the World Cup...

"Thank God I don't have to play this boring game anymore."

...and nobody in this country gives a fuck!

And no it's not sour grapes. If we won the whole fucking thing we still would not give a fuck about soccer. We might find it a little amusing how we beat the entire world at a game we don't care about and they go completely ape over-that'd be funny! But besides that there isn't even a reason for us to enter the World's Cup.

Some might take issue with the claim that soccer isn't a legitamite sport. I take issue with the claim that soccer is even a sport.

I'm sorry but any sport where a guy with no arms could excel at is NOT a sport, know what I'm saying? A guy with no arms couldn't play a fucking game of chess, yet could be the MVP of the World Cup tournament, does that sound right to you?

No offense to this guy of course I'm just trying to make a point. He looks like a good fisher anyways.

America just doesn't care about soccer. When I was growing up we didn't play soccer, we played "Burn".

Burn is like dodgeball but with a hard rubber ball. Basically you'd throw the ball against a brick wall and have to take turns catching it with one hand. If you fumbled or missed you'd have to run and tag the brickwall before one of the other players hit you with the ball, which if done right would burn, hence the name.

If you tagged the wall you're suppose to be immune from anyone hitting you but that was rarely observed. There was alot of "Oops, that left my hand before you tagged, sorry".

So if the world wants to interest the US in a World Cup sport worth our time I would suggest Burn.

No knee-high socks, no ref giving out colorful cards,no trolping around kicking a ball.

Just a bunch of guys, a hard rubber ball, a brick wall, and good old' American gusto to hurt people from other countries.

Hungry to knock some asshole from Europe's beret off.

Let's face it people, the most extreme sport out there is war, and we win that World Cup every fucking year. If your faggy little European country wants to stand up to us without going through our Stealth bomber here's your chance.


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