EMI paid $28 million to get rid of Mariah Carey
What a fucking bargain.
Can somebody PLEASE explain to me what the fuck is so great about Creed?
Seriously, if you are a Creed fan, go to my guestbook let me know what I'm missing, because frankly, I don't see it.
Sure, the girls might dig the leather pants/Gap wife beater combo that the lead singer sports. But I seriously can't find one redeeming quality about this group. I mean, after hearing that these bozos have had the #1 selling album for like 8 weeks straight. I thought I might see what the hell they're all about and not change the radio station exactly when I could tell it was them by the opening chords, as I usually do.
After wiping the puke off my clothes, I still was confused.
Then I tried watching them in concert on VH1 last week. Now, I have to admit, I was really impressed by the catwalk the lead singer has. Don't know about you, but I like my rock stars to be as much like super models as possible. Way to go, dude. I also must comment on his numerous poses. Legs spread apart, slight bend of the knees, while tilting himself back, and reaching out for the crowd as if he was feeding off their power!!!!
Oh, how sublime!
No, seriously. my If you think I'm missing something, by God let me know.
So yeah, I'm playing in a band.
Just so you know, Captain Albatross is me guitar player. His wife gave him that name, because she says he "makes love like an albatros."
What a weirdo.
The "Straight Dope" guy it refers to is your author. He gave me that name because I wrote a song with a line in it, which goes as follows... "The straight dope, is I'm a dope...." and he just went nuts over it.
He's a English major, and you know how they are.
A little slang, a little cliche, and they can't sleep at night. I thought he was gonna' have a fucking seizure.
So he continued to browbeat me until I dropped it.
He's the type of fellow that a record company pays 28 million dollars to make go away.
That's why he's in my band.
Oh, and their is a rumor going on that the bio is actually the bio of Whitesnake, with just the names changed.
Of coarse that's not true.
You can trust me.
Oh, and I got the funniest fucking email today from Miss Surly.
The title was "Just a reminder, and the content was this..
OH MY LORD, DID I LAUGH MY ASS OFF!!!
Surly is the one and only person that sends good spam.
SHOT THROUGH THE HEART, AND YOU'RE TO BLAME. SURLY, YOU GIVE SPAAAAM, A GOOD NAME!
Also, if I don't get picked for Survivor 2 it's gonna' suck. Would I be fucking great on that or what?