Genghis Jon's Great Big Gay Night Extraordinaire
So last night, I was watching TV, when my roommate, John quites surfing for porn on the computer and joins me.
So we're watching Tv when all of a sudden John says something really fucking weird to me.
"I would kill for a fucking blowjob."
Who the fuck says that?
"Dude! I don't want to hear that! Shut the fuck up! That's fucking gross!"
He went on to say "I know, it's just that I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time and I fucking miss having sex!"
That got me thinking about blowjobs and stuff. I mean.....what's with all this taboo? Why can't I walk over to him and suck his dick without feeling weird about it? Monkeys, humans closest relative, play with each others dicks and whatnot all the time. They don't get hung up on if they're gay or not?
Why can't I help him out? He needs a blowjob, I have a mouth...
It's just like if I needed something, like a spare tire or whatever and he gave me one that he had lying around somewhere.
What's more, I'm about to turn 30 this year. Do I really want to hit my 30's without experiencing this gay thing just once? Am I that much of a prude?
I'm kept an unblemished heterosexual streak for the last 29 years. Totally faithful to it as well. Is it so wrong to play on the other team just for one night?
So I says to him "John, tell you what I'm gonna' do buddy. I'm gonna' suck-your-dick. Get ready for me, cowboy."
He protested a little, saying "WHAT? NO! Jon, I can't do that! I'm Italian for chissakes. No, i'm not into guys.....what are your doing??? NO! Don't do that! Stop!! Stop........ugh......oh God...Don't stop!!"
Sucking dick is a lot like eating corn on the cobb. I don't know how girls could do this all the time. It's very involving. You got this big phalic pole down your throat that you're trying to make spit on you.
The veins were particularly distracting. More than once I said to myself "DUDE!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?? YOU'RE SUCKING SOME GUY'S DICK!!" And almost stopped. The good thing about getting head from another guy is that they'll never just stop and leave you hanging because they too know the terrible feeling of a job left unfinished.
Anyways, we were done in 5 minutes. Suspiciously quick for a "heterosexual."
What a fag, eh?
So, that was it. Here's a picture of me after we got done.
Boy do I look embarressed.
That's not egg on my face either.