Genghis Jon Interviews Your Punk Ass! Episode XV Featuring Wicked-Sezzy!!!!!
One of the most entertaining diaries in Diarland, hands down belongs to Sarah. The theme to her diary seems to be "Conservative Republican's quest for booze, boys, and.....more boooze and boys!"
If I had the imagination, I would of invented that idea and started a mock journal. I didn't come up with it because you simply cannot make this stuff up. She's truly one of the bravest writers on around. Her unconditional love for penis, and the persuit of such, is as captivating as the mind that writes it. So without further ado. I offer my interview with Wicked Sezzy...
Genghis Jon- Sezzy, your diary is about a Republican girl and tales of her drunken debauchery, and love of penis. First question. Is penis a "family value?"
Wicked Sezzy- Absolutely Jon. See if it weren't for penises drunkenly jabbing their way in the direction of vaginas and occasionally finding their way in there (usually only to fall out again and be thrusted clumsily against the thighs of the poor girl who is usually thinking "He knows he's not in anymore, right?"), there wouldn't BE any families at all, let alone family values. When it comes right down to it drunken debauchery and a love of penis are what make America great.
Genghis Jon- What do you enjoy more? The Rush Limbaugh show, or penis?
Wicked Sezzy- I get the sense that you're really asking if I had to have one or the other, which would I pick? I'd have to grudgingly go with penis on that one, but it's really close. I mean, I've got a vibrator..~Thinking~..how about a compromise? I get no penis on weekdays between 12 and 3. I'll just use the Eager Beaver to pleasure myself while Rush is on (wouldn't be the first time! Fat, deaf, bald and obnoxiously in love with his own opinions..mmmm my dreeeeam man!) and deny myself *actual* penis contact. That way I don't have to choose.
Genghis Jon- Would you vote for penis?
Wicked Sezzy- No. We'd end up at war with France because he would start insisting that "the babes need to start shaving their pits" or something equally testosterone fueled. We'd find him in the middle of the night at Andrews Air Force base riding on warheads and screaming "yeah bitch, how do you like me NOW bitch, take THAT bitch!" It would be a mess.
Genghis Jon- Which episode best demonstrates your conservative Republican values? A) Playing "Boobie Baseball?" B) Drawing a penis on your friend's car, followed by "We need this!" or C) Making out with a plumber who described his job as "dealing with cucka all day"?
Wicked Sezzy- I'd have to go with our penis drawings. This demonstrates our desire to want to settle down with a penis of our own. Our *nesting* urges. Nothing more Republican than that.
Genghis Jon- What's a good year for penis?
Wicked Sezzy- I've always found the 1977 to have a rich, musky bouquet to it, and not much bitterness in the aftertaste.
Genghis Jon- Does conservative penis taste better then liberal penis? Ever have Green Party penis?
Wicked Sezzy- I've had penii from throughout the political spectrum and I've got only two words for you: Marxist Penis.
Genghis Jon- How drunk were you when you voted for George Bush?
Wicked Sezzy- Well I voted absentee, and I can't deny I filled it out after my morning Scotch. But that only makes me concerned that I might have voted for Nader or some shit.
Genghis Jon- Does the fact that Bill Clinton has a penis make it impossible to truly hate him?
Wicked Sezzy- He's on my all-time list of the Top Five People I'd Most Like To Suck Off In the Backseat of a Moving Taxi. He's #3. Number one of course being Genghis Jon.
Genghis Jon- Could you vote for a canadate who doesn't have a penis? Like one of them females or something?
Wicked Sezzy- Sure but only if she was a) so old and shriveled and dried up that the possibility of being distracted by all the penis in Washington was eliminated or b) she preferred licking vaginas. See, I could have voted for Hillary for both reasons if I were a NY Dem.
Genghis Jon- Have you ever thought about starting 'The Penis Party' or something?
Wicked Sezzy- Well we *would* be guaranteed the gay vote. And maybe the Bunny vote. But no...
Genghis Jon- What's your favorite color?
Wicked Sezzy- Purple, of course. The color of engorgement.
Genghis Jon- Do you say the Pledge of Allegiance, or the Pledge of a Penis?
Wicked Sezzy- Neither, I am no longer in elementary school. If I were, I suppose it would have to be Allegiance, because I didn't get much in the way of penis back when I was 12. I did have a friend whose mom had a Playgirl that she showed us though. Truly horrifying.
Genghis Jon- And finally, what does the Washington Monument remind you of?
Wicked Sezzy- Everyone says it's this big pointy white cock symbolizing America's patriarchal blah blah zzzzzzz.....I'll only say this. Has anyone every fucking LOOKED at the Washington Monument? It is not, as my friend Jason used to say "The Big White Erection". Any man that has a cock that comes to a SHARP POINT at the end is truly in need of some medical attention and is not going to have much luck getting thrust that thing drunkenly into my thighs, I'll tell you THAT much.
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