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President's Lube.

MOTHERFUCKER! I just got raped at the Jiffy Lube. DAMNIT, I went in for the $19.95 oil change and ended up spending.........over $130!!! Mostly on shit I don't even know. Usualy I can stand up to the oil people.

Oil Person: "You're gonna need a new front, rear mecabulator..."

Genghis Jon: "Naw, I'll just take the $19.95 oil change."

Oil Person: "Well, you're also gonna need a dual, twin-cab, moneyblower, gizmo...."

Genghis Jon: "Naw, I'll just take the $19.95 oil change."

But this guy was GOOD.

He got on my good side first of all. Cracking jokes, and making himself out to be my best buddy in the world. This guy stopped short of giving me his home phone number and telling me I can call him anytime if I just needed to talk.

Then after declaring his love for me, let's me know that I may need to donate $130 to keep his love for me alive and strong.

Seemed like a good idea at the time. I mean, you should of seen him, this guy REALLY liked me....

Shit, I been had.

It wasn't very "jiffy" either. I was there about an hour and a half. I always end up spending the rent money everytime I go there. These guys start doing cartwheels and breaking into song when they see me pull in. They dance around my car like that scene in Grease. Singing "Go grease lightning..." around my Geo Metro. You tell me you'd tell them you'd just like the $19.95 oil change!

Guys: Don't EVER read any sort of poetry to the girl of your dreams, EVER! They lose all sorts of respect for you. Yeah, they say they won't. They come off like "Oh, that's so sweet....won't you read it to me?? You're the sweetest little pumpkin in the whole wide world..." Playing against your weeknesses. Then when you DO, they think you're a pansy. It's true. Don't ever fall for it. Leave your heart felt words to your DAMN SELF!

So I got today off. Why? Presidents day. You see, my company thought that I couldn't possibly work today because I'd need the time to stay at home and reflect on the present and past leaders of our country. They believed I'd be just too emotional to work on such a profound holiday. What's up with that? I've never even heard of someone "celebrating" presidents day. I wouldn't know how! It's more like sitting at home, celebrating what a cool as company I work for that gives Presidents Day off. I'll drink to that! (chocolate milk)




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