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You all pretty much know that socially, I'm a liberal.

And in regards to that, not only do I respect, but I also cherish diversity on all levels.

People that are of different race, color, nationality, sexual orientation...

Whatever. It's all good with me.

That's realy what makes this world so great.

But I must admit, I am not without my exception.

There are a certain group of people that I just can't fucking stand.

A certain people that really has no freegin' right to be among the rest of us.

You know who I'm talking about don't you?

Fucking left-handed people.

I mean, who the fuck do they think they are? Walking around, catching things with their left hand and all like it's normal and acceptable behavior.


Some people will do ANYTHING just to be different.

And don't believe for a second that they are left-handed by nature.

That's bullshit.

I don't believe that fuck for a second!

I mean, they just go around and mock us. They know DAMN WELL that they're suppose to use their right hand. Why do you think it's called your "right" hand anyways? Huh?

Like, one time I was in a band with a guy that claimed to be left-handed.

We use to switch off guitar and bass with each other. So you would think, all we had to do was hand each other our instrument, and we can continue rocking. Right? (no pun intended)


He refused to use my bass.

A bass that was designed in the correct way, to be played by a decent, right-handed American.

I kept telling him "just play the fucking thing" but he refused.

Standing there with his backwards guitar like a retard. Thinking he's all cool, and new wave.

I wanted to beat the fuck out of him with my bass. He even said to me "if you think it's so easy, play my left-handed guitar."

Can you believe that?

Like I'm gonna' stoop to his level.

Once I've touched that instument of the devil, I not only shame my country and my family, but my own self as well.

No I'm not gonna' play your left-handed guitar, you freak!

I tell ya' guys. If there is a Hell, they're getting an express ticket there.

And America needs to wake up to the fact that the left-handed people are tearing the moral thread of this country at the seems!

I've spent many a day, either preaching my cause out on the corner, or better yet - picketing at a funeral for a "Lefty".

(I love how they give themselves such cute, harmless name like "lefty")

And it's not that I enjoy standing outside a funeral, shouting at people. It's just that it's time for America to WAKE UP to the fact that this "lefty" is right now, burning in the flames of Hell, and so will everyone else that doesn't repent from this immoral behavior!!!



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