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My Friends Are Killer!

So I'm on the internet the other day, minding my own business Googling old friends I went to High School with (OK, maybe not totally minding my own business) when all of a sudden after pulling the name of this one girl I find all these news stories about how she killed some guy in Arizona.

If you're keeping count this brings the total of three neighborhood friends from Hartford that have turned out to be killers. The other two, Marco and Sean were 16 when they killed a guy because he was a homosexual. I always thought it ironic sending someone who kills a gay person to jail. It's almost like sending a racist to 35 years in Harlem. Anyways, they've been in the pokey for the past 20 years and I'm sure they're more open to gay sex then in the past.

Lemme' tell you about this girl. If you were to give me a list of everyone at my high school and ask me to make a list of everybody I even thought could possibley kill somebody I would ask why you were making such an odd request. You would then tell me to just do what I'm told. I, in response would tell you to that you're being too bossy and if you want someone to do something you should ask nicely and not just shoot out demands.

Than you'd be like "Whatever" and I'd be like "Yeah....What. Ev. Er"

Anyways, the list. If I were to make a list of all the potential homocidal folk she wouldn't even be considered. She was a Deadhead for chrissakes! All she did all day long was walk around in those stupid tye-dyes and get stoned.

There was this one time when she saw me walking down the hall in a particularly bad mood. She stopped ma and said "Wait, I have something for you." She searched her hemp bag and handed me a tape.

"It's a Dead mix tape. It's sure to make you feel better."

I proceeed to throw said tape in the nearest receptacle.

She was actually even more annoying. She had this boyfriend who she nicknamed "Googy".

He, in turn nicknamed her "Googy". You'd be sitting in Math class listening to them say "Oh, Googy" "I wuv' my Googy" "Hi Googy"

"Googy, Googy, Googy!!"

If I knew she was capable of killing people I would of begged her, it drove me absolutely bananas. A million times a day I'd have to say "Hey Googy, tell the other Googy to shut the fuck up! You too Googy, shut the fuck up."

So anyways, fast forward until now when a bored day at work leads to me to petition Google to see how Googy is up to.

Imagine my suprise when I found this!!!!!

The black bar across her face is done by me to protect the innocent. I mean the guilty, she was convicted. The bloody font is for effect.

Anyways, the story goes is that she was having an affair with a Yoga teacher. (Exactly what do Yoga teachers do except fuck their married students anyways?) The Yoga teacher appearantly tried to end the affair while Googy wanted to leave her husband for him.

One things leads to another, a few drinks get involved, Googy starts waving around a gun and ends up shooting her lover.

I love writing that, I feel like a romance novelist.

Googy whips out her pistol from her suptle breasts and fires a gun loaded with all her jealous, all her hate, and all her rage at....her lover.

I don't know, I probably shouldn't be joking around about this but I can't help but find it a little funny. She was a Deadhead. It's like after Jerry died all these Deadheads become murderous lunatics.

I can see her standing over that guy going "Hey asshole, I'm about to send you to the great Dead show in the sky. Say hi to Jerry for me" BOOM!

Anyways, I don't know. I guess if I really wanted to be an asshole I could write her, saying that I always had a crush on her and ask if she'd go out with me. Then I'd say "Pysche, just kidding, I'm married. Why would I want to go out with you, you're in jail? Here's a Slayer mix tape btw. It'll make you feel better."


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