Genghis Jon Interviews Your Punk (Diaryland Survivor 4) Ass! Episode 10, Featuring Ms M!
Alright, I know I'm late, but dude, you have to understand. I'm an artist or something. These things take time.
Bullshit aside, my next interview is with Ms M.
Me and M have been pals for awhile. If you're a loyal reader you might remember the little tiff we had for awhile. Luckily we made through as friends. Something that doesn't usualy happen when I go in bananas mode. Anyways, here's the interview.....
Genghis Jon- You sure went through a lot of trouble to get an interview with me. I mean going through all this Diaryland Survivor stuff and all. You could of just asked! Question: If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, why didn't you baby just didn't let me know?
Ms. M- I believe that true love can only be found, and thus survive, if one goes through a bit of hell. Joining DLand Survivor was the only way our love could be found, tested, and then measured for survival. Plus, I'm a professional stalker - we never take the easy route. (I love your ass in 501 blue jeans best! That yellow and orange Hawaiian shirt and lime green thong ensemble has got to go!)
Genghis Jon- I can't think of any questions pertaining to the game, so why don't you just ask yourself a question about it and then answer it. I'll take a nap while you do.
Ms. M- "Ms. M, you sexy bitch you, was there anything about this contest that you did enjoy?"
Why Jon, you observant miscreant, there was indeedy. I met some great people who I do still chat with today. I got to pretend I was God for a day and um... ya. That's about it really.
Genghis Jon- Better do another. People are saying I'm really lazy these days. Check out my guestbook.
Ms. M- I. Can't. Stop. Gazing. (What's up with that?)
Genghis Jon- In the same fashion as Diaryland Survivor, I was going to start a game based on the hit TV show "Joe Millionaire" called "Joe Supergold." Here's the premise of the game. One male Diarylander will date (i.e. have sex with) 50 female Diarylanders who think he has a Super Gold account. But, here's the kicker. Not only does he not have any type of gold status. BUT he also uses a default template in his diary!!!!! And he has anal warts. Sound like fun?
Ms. M- It does if there's cheap sex involved! I'm sick of paying my gigolo my cold hard cash. I'd rather pay some guy $27.50 for his Super Gold and get the lovin' that way. Anal warts can be...sexy. And, if read correctly, can be used for astrological purposes.
Genghis Jon- Can I ask you some personal questions? What's your real name, address, phone number, credit card number, company you work with, first time you had sex, last time you had sex, email address of the guy you last had sex with, and favorite color.
Ms. M- My name is Bling Bling McQueen. My address is Pimp Lovin' Lane, Toronto Canada My phone number is 555-humr. Company name: Tap My Ass Inc. First time I had sex: 42 Last time I had sex: 17 seconds ago (while reading these questions) Email address of last guy I had sex with: email@example.com Favourite Colour (don't even think about editing out them u's): hot pink.
Genghis Jon- My team of experts at the 'Genghis Jon Institute For Finding Out Stuff About People's Personal Bizness' has reveled your last boyfriend to be, one, Sergio Mamabarumba. I took the liberty to track down Sergio and allowed him to ask you a few questions of his own...
Sergio- "Hey Missa' M. Itsa' me. Sergio. Why you no comea' back toa' Sergio?
Ms. M- Fuck you, you cheatin' bastard! The last time I got some lovin' from your itsy bitsy teeny weeny I ended up with the Clap! I hate you! You suck!
Sergio- "Remembera' thosea' days when youa' call me your "Pasta o' Pleasure?" I missa' those days."
Ms. M- I miss those too, baby! Can you forgive my hostile words and make sweet, sweet love to me with the Linguine of Love?!
Sergio- "Remember youa' use toa' say toa' Sergio "Ooo-la-la, Sergio!" I missa' those days. Why you no come back toa' Sergio?"
Ms. M- Scratch that last answer! I was cravin' the antipasta for a second! I have no will power. My reasoning has returned and I refuse to let you use my body as the Carnival of Hope and Pleasure ever again!
Genghis Jon- Ok it's Genghis Jon again. My next question is- Why you no go back to Sergio?
Ms. M- Because that bastard slept with his sister! You'll see the full show on Springer next week. I got to bash him in the head with a chair while the bouncers held him. It was good fun!
Genghis Jon- What's the thing you'll remember most about Diaryland 4?
Ms. M- That crazy people make sane people act crazy. (Thank you to Grisham from CSI Vegas for that quote.)
Genghis Jon- What's the least thing you'll not remember the most about Diaryland 4.
Ms. M- The...I forget.
Genghis Jon- Tell me everything you've forgotten.
Ms. M- Your address. I need it like a smack whore needs another hit.
Genghis Jon- Did Sergio ever pull a Siegfried & Roy on you?
Ms. M- Ya, but since his Daddy was a better lover - it all worked out for me in the end. Get it? End!! I sure did.
Genghis Jon- Can we?
Ms. M- Jon, you know I don't go for strap-on's bull whips. But...what he hell. It was Christmas last month after all.
Genghis Jon- If you don't answer this question honestly and complete, may the gods curse you with toenail fungus. Who did you vote out and why?
Ms. M- Weeks one and two - Scud. Then I realized in week three he was the only one that seemed to be playing the game without a care in the world. I realized I envied him, so I voted for July. Not out of animosity but because I had no idea who else to vote for and I thought it was a safe vote (as in I didn't think anyone else would.) Boy did I call that one wrong. He ended up getting a few votes and that's when I decided not to be rash with my voting. I became a little unhappy with July and some things he wrote in his diary about the contest and the contestants, so I kept voting for him until he was voted out in week 7. I believe he had immunity at least once during that time (week 6), so I voted for AlternaMommy strictly due to her IC, she's a great writer - but circumstances caused her to change her IC from a good one to a confusing one. Week 8 I voted for AlternaMommy strictly because she was unable to submit an IC that week. I couldn't vote out someone who did submit one over someone who had not, that wouldn't be fair. Week 9 I voted out Raw.. That was, in all honesty, the hardest vote I had to make. Raw is amazing, and her writing style is top notch in my book. But the other two IC's that week were very moving and her's was a funny one. I love the funny - but I had to go with my heart. And to be honest, it should have been me that week, if not way sooner. My IC's lacked that certain something after week 3, and I just kept skidding in under the radar. But that was one of my worst IC's ever. And no, for those wondering (if anyone even cares) I was never apart of any alliance. At times, when Magpie was voted off - which came as a complete surprise, I knew something was up. But no would tell me and thankfully, no one really asked me to vote with them in a block. I don't think Alliances are necessarily are a bad thing - I just prefer to vote on my own.
Genghis Jon- So are you sad you got das Boot? Or does spending this quality time with me make up for any feelings of rejection?
Ms. M- I was happy I got the boot. I didn't deserve to be in the top 3 and I knew it. I wasn't really enjoying the contest and people wouldn't vote for me, for I was no threat. So I bounced along and waited anxiously for my chance to allow you to dip your pen in my ink. ~lights cigarette~ Has it been good for you too Poo Poo Kitty?
Genghis Jon- So, all in all, did you enjoy the game? Would you do it again? Would you do Sergio again? How about that Siegfried & Roy? Oh, and who do you think will win?
Ms. M- I enjoyed 'meeting' (that'd be geek speak for personal messaging) with some of the contestants and I have a bunch of new diaries to read (always a good thing). I still chat with Matt, Angeline and Kinetix regularily. I heart them. I would be a judge if they did a DLand Survivor 5. If you'd asked me during the game I would have said, "Hell no!" but once you're out, surprisingly, you don't give a rat's ass about any of it anymore. (Well, most of us anyway.) I would only hook up with Sergio one more time in order to have his love child so I could give it to my Granny to raise. He has nice bone structure, what can I say? Sure I'd do Siegfried and Roy, what the hell. Threre's a party in my bed...er... book, anytime. Since I know who the winner is, they already posted the results(Genghis Jon note ; For the record I sent these question BEFORE the champ was declaired. Blame her!) I gotta say Angeline! My predictions for the Oscar's will be done the same way. Stay tuned!