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More on Walmart

I was wondering what came first.

The white trash, or the Walmart?

Seriously, I had the misfortune of visiting my newly erected neighborhood Walmart this weekend, and it depressed the fucking hell out of me.

Seriously, it's a gawdamn zoo inside. And the people walking around in there.....dude!

I've never seen any of these types in my neighborhood, other than at Walmart.


Which had me think that maybe there is some underground trailer park located directly underneath Walmart, or something.

I mean these dudes were some serious fucking white trash, people.

I'm talking 100%, unadulterated, USDA approved, grade A, white motherfucking trash.

These sons o' bitches make Kid Rock look like Pierce Brosman.

It's as if they weren't even human! It's like Pigpen, from The Peanuts had his own race of people. This is what they'd be.

I'm talking, walking around with their T-shirts that they got free with 2-packs of Newport cigarettes.

And why the fuck is it that people think Walmart is a great place to bring the kids? I mean, kids go ape-shit in there!! They really do, and for no reason. Just out of the pure stress of the place.

I pointed out to my friend, who is considering tying the knot with his girl, that before they think about having a kid, they need to come to Walmart and spend the whole day here.

He agreed. That place would scare anybody into impotence. If they took high school kids to Walmart on regular field trips in their sex ed classes, I bet teen pregnancy would be wiped out completely.

Nobody in their right mind would want to reproduce after spending 2 seconds in there.

It's like Lord of the Flys, almost. The kids take total control.

I saw one kid, like maybe 3 years old, climbing the shelves all the way to the top.

I felt obligated as a human being to stand there and make sure he didn't fall.

There wasn't much I could do, it really wouldn't look good grabbing kids that don't belong to me in Walmart. So I was forced to sit there watch the little bastard.

I was there about maybe 5 minutes before the sorry excuse for a parent showed up.

Me and the mutant-parent exchanged a few words, but it was obvious he didn't care.

I mean, if the boy fell it'd be like winning the lottery. He'd be a millionaire.

He actually said to me "don't tell me what to do with my child!"

I replied "Dude! (you're getting a Dell) You're 3 year old son just climbed 10 feet in the air and could have fallen on his head, are you DUMB?"

I felt like beating the fuck out of the guy, what a losey piece of shit.

It's such a horrible vicious cirlce that exists.

It's like , stupid people raise stupid kids that grow up and out-stupify their own upbringing with their kids. And for some reason the stupid ones are the most fertile creatures on the planet.

The good parents have 1.3 kids, while the stupid ones have a baker's dozen.

And I'm not talking racily, or even classwise either.

Some of the worst parents on the planet are loaded. Spoiling the kids rotten is a huge disservice to them.

They grow up EXPECTING everything. When they don't get it, they go nuts.

When I worked at a bookstore I'd see grown men throw tantrums all the time, over the stupidist shit! It was rediculace.

I saw one dude who came in with a coupon that expired a week privious, trying to use it as if the experation date on it wasn't clearly stated on it. When I told him the coupon wasn't good anymore (he tried to slip it to me AFTER his order was rung up, sneaky bastard.) he just went off.

Now picture this, this guy is about 47 years old, nicely dressed, trophey wife, the whole deal. And because he was informed that he cannot use his expired coupon, he started shouting "you mean to tell me I can't use this coupon??? how the hell am I suppose to know it's expired??? well, forget my order then, I was going to buy $20 worth of books, now I'm going to go to Barnes and Nobles. his is a losey way to run a business, I'm never coming here again!!"

Now, my fellow employees always loved when I got the jackass, mainly because my self respect was always more important then my $7.05 an hour job. I took no shit. I said back to the guy "Sir, is a 10% coupon really worth acting the way you are? Do you realize you're acting like a child in public? Will you calm down if I give you the 10% off?"

Now, doing this worked much better than just letting the guy leave in a heroic huff. I got to keep him for awhile and embarass him some more. First off, after making a huge scene in front of a croud, he has to stay and have everybody give him weird looks. Second, I would get on the phone and pretend to talk to my manager right in front of the guy. Saying things like "yeah, this is Jon, I need to override the exired coupon......yeah, I know they've expired but I have a fellow here causing a huge scene and I'm just trying to defuse it...."

These assholes wouldn't care at all.

The dude made a colossal jackass of himself to save a grand total of $2.

Then he drives off in a Jaguar.

A lot of retail workers wonder what would turn a human being into such a jerk, and I believe I found out why.

It's because nobody ever said no to the fuckers when they were young, and that when the worn "no" was uttered to them, all they have to do is throw a tantrum and they WILL get it.

It's sick.

Are you with me people?

Then prove it!


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