In regards to my last entry where I kicked off a new wave of Love, penitentiary style, I was happy to see that the reputable website The Smoking Gun caught on to the craze by bringing to light a classified ad by a celebrity.

Remember that kooky broad that loaded her kids up in a car and pushed it into a lake because her boyfriend didn't like kids? Then she tried to blame the whole thing on the brutha' man?

Shhhiiiiit, well I'm happy to report to all you guys that dig chicks behind bars that this little gem is back on the market, and looking fo' luv!

Aw, she likes Mickey Mouse, how adorable!!!!

I wonder what would happen if her boyfriend doesn't like Mickey Mouse? I wonder if she'd lock him in her car and roll it in the lake?

I'll have to write and ask.

"Officer, I didn'ty kill Mickey. It was a black man!"

This chick is kooky squared!

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How the fucking fuck did that little bastard who played Tattoo beat up his wife?

I wish I had a picture of his wife. Sadly I couldn't find one on the net. I'm sureshe hires people to see to it.

Anyways, this 6 foot 4 blonde was married to this 2 foot 3 inch dildo.

A few years ago we heard on the news that Herve "The Plane, The Plane" Villechaize was arrested for spousal abuse.

I somehow managed to store this incident in my subconscience all these years while I gave myself time to mature enough to handle such a baffling enigma.

Seeing that the time has come, and the incident has arised to the surface, I ask that you bear with me while my brain attempts to make sense of all this.

Ut-hem.

HOW THE FUCKITY FUCKING FUCK CAN A MIDGET BEAT UP A FULL GROWN WOMAN? WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO, BITE HER ANCKLES? IS THERE ONE OFFICER OF THE LAW ON GOD'S GOOD EARTH THAT COULD MAKE AN ARREST WHEN A WOMAN CLAIMS TO BE VICIOUSLY ATTACKED, THEN POINTS OUT THE PERPETRATOR AS TATTOO FROM FANTASY FUCKING ISLAND? I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, THAT OFFICER WHO MADE THAT ARREST HAD NUTS THE SIZE OF CHURCHBELLS BRINGING HIM BACK TO THE STATION. HOW WOULD HE JUSTIFY IT TO HIS COLLEAGUES? "HEY EVERYBODY, I APPREHENDED THAT EVIL WOMAN ABUSER WE GOT A CALL ABOUT. LOOKS LIKE PEOPLE CAN REST EASY TONIGHT WITH THIS MENACE OFF THE STREETS, AY GUYS?"

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I just recently saw the video to "Your Body is a Wonderland" and am convinced that our boy John couldn't be more gay if he had a trail of gerbals leaking out of his anus.

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Speaking of which, here's my one and only picture of Montreal I'm going to share with you right now. I'm still negotiating terms on using other people's likness in this here diary.

My roommate John has no such rights, so here he is.

I know, I know. I censored out the good parts.

Girls, trust me on this. It's for your own good. Your heart wasn't made to get THAT excited.

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